FARGO

I have a dear friend named Jason who lives in the most unfortunate shit-hole known as Fargo, North Dakota.  Do you know what is in Fargo, ND?  A whole lot of fucking nothing.  Wind whistling through baren prairies.  It blizzards there EVERY YEAR like God is pissed off at it.  It's flat.  As fuck.  I went there once, in 1999.  And I haven't been back.  Because it sucks that bad.  But while I was there (for another reason not related to Jason; I just happened to meet him on a whim) let me just show you what happened in 1999 when I went to Fargo, ND and met this shithead:

 

Remember back in the day when us girls would wear our jeans purposely with a tear just under our butt-cheeks?  That was the style, back in 1999.  Well, this fuck face decided to rip Frank's butt-cheek hole wide open and based on this picture, we could just about give her a gynecological exam if we really wanted to.  Good Lord!

 

I'm pretty sure that I developed a weird crush on this idiot and then got over it a week later when word got back to me that he got some girl (his girlfriend) pregnant.  And she was breaking up with him.   A dad at 19??  No.  I wanted nothing to do with that shit.

 

But we kept in contact and we talked.  We just...talked.  I don't know when or how we became so close but over the years, we just did.   He's one one my best friends.  He gets me and I get him.  In 2001 we made a pact that if neither of us were married by the time we were 30, then we would marry each other.  We are both 32 and NOT married to each other and that's probably best because we would have KILLED each other long ago.  In a bloody war.  No survivors.

 

Here we are in 2008:  drunk in the Boots' garage, just hangin out:

 

 

Here's a great picture from the same night in 2008 and Chris is talking to Randi about his turtle clothing line, Randi doesn't give a shit, and Jason is photo-bombing which is actually typical:

 

 

I love this shithead with all my heart.  I could do better at being a better friend and making more of an effort to see him and hang out with him.  He is always coming to the Cities, I haven't been to Fargo in 13 years and it's been over a year since I've seen his ugly mug. 

 

Oh here's my FAVORITE picture of me, Chris, and Jason...I just wish I wasn't making a hideous duck-face.  Circa 2008.

 

 

 I love my drunken Irishman, there will never be another. :)

 

 

 

 

EXCEPT when he dresses up like that creepy fuck Keith Stone.

 

 

 Life is precious; our lives can be cut too short.  Tell the ones you love that you love them.  Don't wait until tomorrow.  Do it now.