I was new friends with a new girl that moved in up the street, we'll call her Helen. We quickly became friends because she was rebellious and naughty and she got away with it. I was fascinated. I wanted to learn how to be like that and not get caught! Before she moved in up the street, she lived in an apartment complex for a few months while her parents house was finished being built (we lived in a brand new housing development at the time) and she had met a boy that lived there and he had a friend. Keep in mind, we were 14...and these boys were 18 and 19 years old. They were adults! Of course we loved it and reveled in the attention but looking back now, I have two words for these guys: Child Molesters. That or they were socially retarded and had the mental capacity of 14 year-olds and felt at ease hanging out with us? Gross. Anyway...Helen encouraged me to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night and meet her at the corner and the boys were going to pick us up.
So they rolled up in some big huge boat of a Buick that had sheets of plastic in place of all of the windows besides the windshield and bungee cords holding the doors closed because the locks were busted from someone trying to break into it. What?! Oh they were so cool and dangerous, we thought! We hopped in and were both handed a cigarette and Helen fired hers up like she knew what she was doing. I didn't know what the hell I was doing but I tried to act like I knew and tried to remember how my mom did it. I'm pretty sure I choked and spat and almost barfed upon first inhale. They drove us to one of their friends house in Apple Valley and we all went inside and they offered us beer. Beer?! I had never had beer before! Beer is what dads drink, I thought to myself. Beer is gross! Helen cracked hers open like a natural and I followed suit, not wanting to look like some kind of, oh I don't know, 14 year-old?! Jesus. So Helen chugged her beer and opened another one and disappeared with her boy from the apartment complex. I was left sitting in some dingy kitchen with his weird friend who I now recall looking like a blonde Charlie Sheen. He asked me if I had ever kissed a guy and I said no. He asked me if I wanted to kiss him and I said maybe. He didn't give me much time to think twice about it before he straight up shoved his tongue down my throat and I had no idea what the hell was happening. So I just sat there...mouth wide open...not doing much of anything else because keep in mind, I was 14 years old and he did NOT kiss like I had seen on TV! He was a slobbery kisser and his tongue was cold and weird and made me gag and his breath smelled like cigs and beer and the next thing I knew I shoved him away from me as hard as I could and he went crashing into the refrigerator and I bolted to the sink and started barfing my brains out. Whether it was from the few sips of beer or his gross cold tongue or the smell of cigs or a combination of all of the above, I don't recall. But I barfed for a good five minutes and all I wanted to do was go home and cry to my mom. Then I actually started crying. I was sobbing. Hysterically. Where was Helen?? Why did she bring me here?? I just wanted to go home! This was NOT how my first kiss was supposed to happen! Once dude picked himself up off the floor and realized I was just a freaked-out little girl sobbing in the corner of the kitchen, he disappeared into the house and found his friend and Helen and they promptly drove us home. I crept back into my house at 2am and crawled under my blankets and vowed that I would never kiss another stupid boy ever again!!
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