So I Have This Disorder...

I thought I was making it all up in my head, there is no way that this could be a legit phobia...although I don't necessarily think that I am afraid of this but it just makes me uncomfortable as fuck and borderline vomit. I will seriously sit here and gag and freak out when I come in contact with this particular image or anything like it...and I have found that this particular image more than any other invokes the most visceral feeling that makes me want to vomit for NO REASON:

Holy shit balls of fire, I had to mix a double before I could even think about writing this stupid blog piece...and seeing this lotus flower is the absolute WORST.  You know what else I don't like?!  Those things that bees/wasps make!! Honeycombs or wasps nests or whatever the fuck?!??   This fucked-up disorder I had is also called "Repetitive Patern Phobia"...but the word "phobia" means "afraid" in my mind....I'm not necessarily afraid but more sickened and disorientated by these images.  Translation: honeycombs me me LOSE MY MIND!!  VOM!  

So My Crazy Fucking Retarded Disorder is called Trypophobia...it's a fear of small clustered holes and it is also described as a fear of repeated patterns.  (did I just repeat that?? Maybe I have a problem with fucking repeating shit)  WTF!!  And it has only been acknowledged by the Department of Psychology as a legit thing since 2005.  I think it has to do with my extreme dislike of maggots and their ability to grow and burrow wherever the fuck they please.  Maggots are my absolute worst nightmare.  I would rather die than lay eyes on one single maggot.  My particular issue with that stupid lotus flower above is that it also appears to have 14 eyeballs staring out at me and I don't like that shit either.  But here's the kicker...I talked to my Mom today for 35 minutes and the whole time I sat there and doodled multiple circles in a cluster...the same fucking shit I can't stand!!  But I knew immediately WHY I was able to tolerate MY circles...because I was creating them and controlling them and making them my own, so I was okay with that.  Here is what I drew!!

Luckily I don't come in contact with a lot of small clustered circles in my life...so I can probably work my life through this hot mess and not need therapy for it...but it's nice to know that there is a name for it and that I am NOT alone!  And in the FB support group I have noticed that there are 70,000+ peeps in the group and 75%+ are women!  

You know what I DON'T need therapy for?!

Alpaca Babies!  A friggin GALORE of them!!!