Anyway.
Today I have cried a total of 11 times. Let's recap.
#1. This morning when I let Rose out to pee and realized it was raining and you know what that means....peeps be driving all slow on the highway and FUCKING UP my commute. I cried about it.
#2. I'm in the car and I usually listen to Howard Stern on Sirius XM radio but he's not live this week because he's filming AGT so there was a re-run of an old interview of Bradley Cooper and Bradley started talking about how much his parents supported his career choice his voice gets all choked up and...I fucking cried about it.
#3. I got to work, punched in with 2 minutes to spare (thank you MN weather, it took me an hour to go 17 miles...efff!!) and I was SO thankful that I punched in on time that....I got a little teary eyed about it.
#4. I fire up my computer and the second thing I do is pull up Songza and choose my country station of choice the third song, at 8:14am, is Miranda Lambert's 'The House That Build Me'...OMFG tears galore! If you're a country fan you have heard this song and if you're NOT a country fan you should hear it because everyone can identify. Guess what? I cried about it.
#5. Around 10am I was catching up on the ACM Awards from Sunday (FML, I had to work, it was torture!) and I had seen Luke Bryan's big win on Sunday but seeing it TODAY made me f-ing BAWL. MY. EYES OUT!!!! At work. Hopefully nobody heard me sniffling.
I'm a damn sucker for a HOT man who cries. I cried with him.
#6. A Folgers Coffee commercial before my Robin Thicke Youtube video about some shit about family togetherness that made me get choked up and I'm like....am I due to ovulate?? It's only 10:33am and I have cried 6 times today...something is wrong here. Thank Alpaca-God for technology and the app that tells me when I'm going to ovulate....on Thursday!! THAT'S why I'm a retarded bawl-bag right now.
#7. I go to Costco to get a few things and I can't find my breakfast burritos. They no longer carry them. I cried about it, at Costco, in the middle of the aisle. What an asshole.
#8. I stopped at Rainbow to get a few supplies to make fresh salsa that I've been craving and ALL of the tomatoes were mushy. Not one single tomato that was worthy of salsa. Guess what? I cried about it.
#10. Watching The Voice tonight and the kid from Minnesota didn't make it. I cried about it.
#11. Watching The Voice and everyone that DID make it...I cried for them.
Moral of the story is...don't bother wearing mascara during the week you are ovulating because it's a waste. Of time and mascara.
Bonus Cry: #12. I made salsa tonight and chopped up a jalapeno and forgot to wash my hands and then stuck my finger in my eye. I was trying to get a good pic of my CRYING again but I seriously couldn't even open my eye. Moral of the Story Part II: upon chopping up jalaps, wash your hands promptly before touching yourself. In your eyeball or vagina. Because I've done that too.
FUCK!!!
This little buddy is dressed for deer hunting!!
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