houseofwong: Stuff That Annoyed The Pooooop Outta Me This Month

Stairs: Because I'm fat, that's why. I still take them though, because I don't want to be the fat-ass in the elevator who gets silently judged by skinny people because obviously I should have taken the stairs. Fuck off stairs and judgmental people!

This bitch LOVES the stairs!

Terrible Music Played on Muzak in My Office: Specifically, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, the version that was in the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast. That song sucks balls. Everything by Celine Dion is terrible and always will be. I Believe I Can Fly by R.Kelly is a motivational song if you are either too young or too old to know that R.Kelly used to pee on underage girls for kicks and that just fucking ruins everything!

Sales people: STOP stalking me! I know what I am looking for, what I need, and where to find it. If I have questions, I will seek you out. Otherwise yes, I am finding everything I am looking for and get the hell out of my face.

Making Drunken Plans and Not Remembering Them The Next Day: And then finding out that you agreed to do the most ridiculous shit that you would have never said yes to had you been sober-ish! People be like, "So when do you want to go to the batting cages?" I'm sorry, what?! "Are we still on for dinner at that weird ethnic restaurant in the most dangerous part of town this holiday weekend?" No, no we're not. "So it looks like you owe me $87 for all the beauty products I hit you up for that you'll never use". OMG.

This is a kitty-facepalm by the way.

*Bonus Rant* Before some asshole says, "well then don't drink and you won't have that problem!" I just want to say, Thank You Captain Obvious, you are so much better than the rest of us who like to imbibe! I bet you NEVER agreed to do something you didn't want to do either, have you?!

Dubstep Music: Music to kill yourself to. I can't handle it.

Vague and/or Poor Me Facebook Status': If you're not going to tell people what's really going on, then shut the hell up about it. If you need a pity party, go find a some of your favorite booze and drink it alone in your basement and you'll be over it by tomorrow. I hope. So while we're on the Facebook topic...

Overzealous Professions of Love For Your Sig Other: I'm sure your mate is just dandy; mine is too. But you know what's annoying as crap? Your daily gushy bullshit and yes I did go turn your notifications off but somehow the Whores of Facebook Land have still made your shit visible to me. If you love your partner so much, why don't you go spend more time with your awesome person instead of trying to convince the rest of us how spec-fucking-tacular they are. If I wished my BF "Happy (insert which month) anniversary" every damn month he'd be like, "Break-up time. You're psycho".

Know-It-All Jerks That Give Unsolicited Advice: Yes I know smoking is bad for me. Yes I know doughnuts are bad for me. Yes I know I should wear a life jacket at all times. Yes I know I should wear sunscreen. Yes I know getting minimal amounts of sleep is bad for me. You know what's bad for YOU? Being within my arm's reach because I'm going to punch you in your stupid throat!

Regular Jerks: People that are jerkoffs for no reason. Like when I was trying to pull into a parking spot at the grocery store and this dumb broad is yakking on her phone and walking all extra slow down the middle of the row and makes eye contact with me but doesn't move her dumb ass out of the way. Don't be an asshole just because you can.

Baby Corn In My Chinese Food: Gross! They taste and smell like a lake. Like a swampy lake. They are unnecessary and slightly frightening.

I pulled up this picture and could immediately taste and smell the swamp. GAG.

Swing sets: I'm not annoyed by them, I'm annoyed that they really aren't around anymore, like the old fashioned ones that would give you a rusty sliver in the bottom of your foot if you tried to shimmy up the poles. Now they are all coated in plastic for safety and there are baby seats and shit's just not the same.