houseofwong: Girl Crushes

**This blog fucking hates me and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to make the stupid white lines go away. Operator error, I'm a tool, I know. Make it stop!**

Girl Crush:

Feelings of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. We all have one. Or two. I have THREE!!! If you're a chick and you say you've never had a girl crush then you are lying to yourself and to America and you need to stop it. A girl can have perfectly normal girl crushes on other girls and it doesn't mean they want to bump fuzz. It just means that you think they are awesome and cool and neat and want to hang out with them. I like other girls boobs and butts and hair and clothes and makeup but that doesn't mean that I want to roll around naked in a kiddie pool of Jello with them. It just means that I think they are kinda awesome.

JENNA MARBLES

Not only does she have the most smokin hot bod that I will never ever in my entire life even come close to having....

But she's fucking hilarious! She swears a lot, drinks too much, and loves her dogs which are pretty much the three things I do best in life. Good thing she makes a new Youtube video every week because some days it's what I look forward to the most.

I have a big giant fat girl crush on Jenna. HUGE!

JWoww

But only before she went and had all the fucked up face surgery and now looks like a creep. Her regular face was just fine, I don't know why she had to mess with it.

And the boobs. The big huge fake rack; I love it! I don't have a girl-crush on her because she's smart or saves baby seals or donates her money to sick kids. It's strictly because of the knockers. I can't help it, I love boobs. I hope you all don't get the clap from looking at the picture below, by the way.

And these trashy as hell outfits are so amazingly awful!

Miranda Lambert

Because country music is the only music that's good and because Miranda is an amazing singer! She loves animals and has her own dog rescue group, which I think is beyond awesome. She's not a size two and she's not afraid to admit it. She's honest and real and you'll never ever see her twerking her booty all over someone else's husband. She's smokin hot!!!

She has her own boutique in the Oklahoma town she lives in that she opened to bring business to her community. She is fiercely devoted to her husband. And she likes to kill shit.

This is why I love her!

And there you have it. I think these three ladies are wonderful in their own way and I girl-crush on them for all different reasons. I know, too bad my list didn't include writers or poets astronauts or scholars or scientists or athletes or a Kardashian (thank God!) because I'm a superficial asshole who likes big bewbs. Guess what, I have my own set of decent sized juggs and I like those ones too.

I tried to have a girl-crush on Nicole Kidman after I learned that she and Keith Urban raise Alpacas but who am I kidding? Just look at this face, there is no way in hell...

Another beautiful woman that should have just left her face alone!

So just go ahead and let your girl crush out, let it be known, tell everyone, and be proud! There is nothing wrong with it and all girls have one! Nobody except assholes are going to judge you based on who your GC is because at the end of the day, nobody is going to care about your GC except for you! (C'mon I just admitted I have a GC on JWoww, I actually deserve to get judged for that one!) I love my boyfriend and his wiener but if Jenna asked me to bring my dog and run away with her, I'm not saying that I wouldn't go. Got it?!

Go home Alpaca, you're shit-faced drunk: