Sometime last year I posted a few blogs about the ridiculous shit Blarb says...you know, we all have that one friend that is just a little bit kooky. :) And now it's time to share some more!
One night while discussing my recent obsession with Alpacas she asked, "How do they lay eggs?"
One night while discussing my recent obsession with Alpacas she asked, "How do they lay eggs?"
 |
| I'm sorry, what the fuck did you just ask? |
“You know how some kids stick pennies up their noses? I used
to eat Polly Pocket people. And the little dogs. I pooped them all out, my mom made sure of
it.”
 |
| Because it makes total sense to eat these stupid things, doesn't it?! |
A friend was telling her about how her dog's hair was getting long and it needed to go to the groomer soon to get shaved. A few minutes later the dog walked by and she says, "Yeah you do need to shave that bird".
"I kept smelling something really bad every time I took my shirt off. I thought it was my feet! Then I took my steri-strip off and realized that my tit was infected!"...she had a breast lump removed and she is fine, minus the infected boobie.
 |
| That's what I did when she made me look at it. |
Blarb: I'm sorry, I'm not used to spreading my legs that far apart anymore.
 |
| "Well that's interesting..." |
"Your dad has some really good breakfast bars"
"I know, but I don't eat sausage"
"But they are made from Greek yogurt and granola"
“I can't eat watermelon, it reminds me of a vagina. You know, like the inside.”
 |
| I just ruined watermelon for everyone that doesn't enjoy vagina. Your welcome. |
“Look at this; it looks like a
butthole with white stuff coming out.
That’s what O-claires remind me of.”
You mean éclairs.
 |
| Gross. She's ruining everything that's good! |
"I wonder how many days I can go without taking a shower..."
"Can you even milk a goat?"
 |
| Where the hell do you think this shit comes from? |
These Alpacas should turn on these kids and stampede them. Why not?!
If you like reading this shit and want to read more shit like it, click on this shit:
No comments:
Post a Comment