It is my belief that when you end a relationship with someone and the break-up is either mutual and/or amicable, it is entirely possible to maintain a friendship with said ex. It is believed that relationships always end badly, otherwise they wouldn't end. Yes, I believe this argument is a valid one. From a girl's point of view, if your man banged your sister/best friend/boss/the babysitter/hot MILF neighbor, then yes, the break-up is most likely not going to be a pretty one. Screaming fits of rage involving the throwing of household objects is expected and totally acceptable. If you've given the whole relationship a good honest try and it's just not working out and it's in the best interest for both parties to part ways, as hard as it might be, it's best to put the relationship out of its misery. You'll have the typical mourning period of the ending of a relationship and there will most likely be plenty of crying to your girlfriends/wine drinking/chocolate eating/country music playing (Earl Had To Die, anyone?) but you pick yourself up, dust yourself off like a woman and you move on. And if both parties are mature and decent people, a friendship is totally possible after the fact. In my case, the ensuing friendship was much more tolerable and enjoyable for both of us after we broke up. It was better for both of us NOT to be together and even though it took five years for us to figure it out, at the end of the day we are both better people because of it. Do I share with Joe that I am still friends with exes? Absolutely. Does he have a problem with it? He's never said anything about it in almost three years so I would say no. Nothing seems to phase this kid. After all, he's still with me after all these years and I'm not your typical girl next door. ;)
One particular ex was bothered by the friendship that I maintained with the ex mentioned above. It was his belief that once you break up with someone, you cut all ties. Period, end of subject. I might be stubborn but I don't appreciate being told what to do and who to be friends with, especially when the whole story was not known to him. When I tried to explain the details of the story, he became defensive and childish and wouldn't listen to my reasoning. It's not like the ex before him was still a constant in my life; he moved out of state and I haven't seen him in years and talked to him on the phone just a few times per year. No amount of explaining was going to convince him. Luckily that relationship only lasted for 8 months. And just like he believes, he and I have not maintained a friendship after the fact. It's probably better that way. However, I do wish him well and hope he is happy. He probably doesn't have the same well-wishes for me but that's okay.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is entirely possible to remain friends with exes. Those relationships teach us things. They teach us what we do and don't want in future mates, they give us faith that someday we will find the person who is right for us. And if the relationship ended on not-so-terrible terms, then remaining friends is possible and our current mate should not feel threatened. After all, the exes of the past have shaped us and have helped us grow into the wonderful person that we are today!
Here's something else that's weird! I have taken the initiative to become friends with my exes exes...(and Joe's ex...it's no big deal!) We may not be friends in person because we don't live in the same vicinity...but on Facebook we are friendly and I would love nothing more than to hang out with these ladies in real life and share a laugh about our shared experiences. Weird? Nah. I really do love to be friends with everyone, I don't let mine or anyones past influence what I think about someone. It's called being an adult. I enjoy being one.
On a funny note: Joe is snoring on the couch next to me for the last 2 hours. It's the only time I get to watch Twilight without interruption. He started coughing and woke himself up and said, "It's ready, right?" I said, "What?" He said, "That one over there is ready to go, right?" And I said, "Are you talking about traps?" He opened his eyes and said, "Yep". And back to sleep he went. Dang it, I love him. :)
Do you love his creepy moustache?!
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