A Light at the End of The Tunnel

This afternoon we (and by we I mean Jen) booked our trip to Florida in February, making the whole dang ol' thing OFFICIAL!  I know it's not Rio de Janiero but I'll take it.  Any day.  I haven't been on a REAL vacation since Vegas in 2007 or 2008...it's been so long I can't remember.  Sure I leave town every weekend and dont' get me wrong, I LIVE for my weekends away, but it's not a *real* vacation, no matter how many Monday's I take off work to try to stretch it out.  And in February, when Minnesota is smack-dab in the middle of Tundra Season:

And everyone is wallowing in their Seasonal Affective Disorder:

I'll be in Florida and all like:

The only reason I picked this pleasant lady to somewhat represent what I may or may not look like in a bikini in 18 weeks is because she's wearing a red bikini and everyone knows RED is my FAVORITE color.  However, I'm unable to rock the bleach-blond with weird brown peek-a-boo like this lovely lass, plus I would NEVER dream of piercing my belly button EVER.  And then circling it with a gaudy tattoo.  Get real, I'm too old and fat for that, but HoneyBooBoo here doesn't seem to Red-neck-ognize that fact.  Eh...to each their own.  At least she has a cute 'kini.

I haven't ever traveled outside of the continental United States but I've been to Vegas 3 times.  My first airplane experience took place 5 months after 9/11...I was TERRIFIED to say the least.

Here I am during my last trip to Vegas back in what was probs 2007...I was cute, don't deny it.

 And while I'm familiar with flying and policies and the fact that airplane bottles of booze cost an arm and a leg, this flight involves a layover.  I've never had to mess with a layover and to me, layovers involve the airline losing your luggage to wild blue yonder.  Of course I've only witnessed this happen in movies but rest assured MY luggage will most likely end up in that country where Borat is from and I'll be royally screwed.  Of course I got these nutso ideas from my favorite blog (besides mine, of course!) which is http://ohdeardrea.blogspot.com/ and cringed and borderline cried while reading about her experience with crazy flights.  Whatever, I'll be fine.  I'll just be like:

Here's what happened when I told Joey that we're taking a Florida vaca...keep in mind, he said he would NEVER go anywhere tropical because he despises the heat.  What a chump.

"Oh hey, Jen and I are going to Florida in February!"

"And you didn't invite me?"

"You hate hot weather destinations and you said you would never take a vacation anywhere but Alaska, are you kidding me right now?  Do you want to go then?"

"No, it's not gator hunting season in February"

Honey.  The coyotes need you.  In Wisconsin.  Just stay there and do what it is that you do best...which is be wildlife's worst enemy:

To say that  I'm excited is an understatement.  I'm BEYOND FREAKING ECSTATIC.  But apparently Florida has giant cockroaches the size of cats.  And some of those bad boys have wings.  Some of them hiss.  If I come across any of these critters, I can guarantee that I will cry.

This damn thing is called a GIANT BURROWING COCKROACH.  You've got to be kidding me:

 NO.