houseofwong: I Don't Dig Scary Shit

I'm a big huge chicken shit. As a kid I was scared of pretty much everything. Bugs, the dark, creepy movies, wind blowing in the dark, small clusters of holes (example: honeycombs. GROSS!!! Well, that's an adult fear.) sharks, death, sharks in the dark, Teletubbies, demons, being alone anywhere in the dark with demons. I've pretty much grown out of all that stuff except I still am a little tiny bit still scared of the dark. Like, when it's pitch dark and I'm alone in it. And the wind is blowing really hard. I don't like it. No way.

Here's some ridiculous stuff that scared the shit out of me when I was a kid and a majority of it I still find creepy when I look at it all these years later. Blaahhhh!!

Reverend Henry Kane from the Poltergeist movies. Come on...that bastard is scary as fuck.

You're all gonna diiiiiiiieeeee!!!!

Gage Creed, that cute as pie little kid that gets hit by a truck and buried in the Pet Sematary by his distraught dad in order to bring him back to life. He looks so cute and innocent here but as soon as you turn your back the fucker is coming at your face with a scalpel.

Little shit!

The Cujo movie wasn't too scary for me because I love all dogs, forever. But the scene where Cujo is trying to get in the car while the little boy is having a seizure....fuck that.

And did you know:

Fucking Demons

Don't ever watch this movie if you know what's good for you. Don't ever do it!!

You might be asking yourself why I was allowed to watch all these scary movies as a kid but the truth is, I wasn't allowed. My sister and I were shady little assholes and would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and watch Tales From The Crypt. We would convince the babysitter that it was okay if we watched rated R scary movies. We did it to ourselves. I like to watch scary movies as an adult, but only with all the lights on and someone is holding my hand.

DAMMIT, why do parents let their kids play with these assholes?

Nightmares are forever.

This is a weird one...and I feel bad about it because people with amputations can't help it. It's not the actual amputated limb that creeps me out, it's the prosthetic limb that makes me want to barf:

God help me if I ever lose a limb and need one of these.

And last but not least...creepy basements. You know why? Because demonic Teletubbies with prosthetic limbs live under the stairs!!! The Boyfriend has a fucking creepy basement that I need to put some stuff in this weekend and I'm seriously going to have to get drunk before I go down there. And then I'll fall down the rickety stairs and break my neck and die in a creepy basement...my ultimate nightmare. Awesome.