Stop It

A few weeks ago I read an article about some med student that decided it would be a good idea to turn her vagina into a yogurt factory and I was like, is this for real??  I gagged a little (actually, a lot) and vowed that I would never eat yogurt EVER AGAIN.  Then the other day my friend re-posted the article on her Facebook page and told me that I need to revisit this bat-shit crazy post in my blog and since I have nothing else better to discuss these days, here we are.  You all can thank Tasha.

My face, upon reading about vagina yogurt.

Apparently the vag is home to "tons of healthy micro-organisms that produce lactic acid, hydrogen peroxide and more".  Her method of collection was "a wooden spoon".  (What??!!)  She then "used a positive control made with actual yogurt and then set up a negative control using plain milk with nothing added.  In the third batch she added her vagina micro-organisms.  She left them overnight and in the morning she had yogurt made from her very own vagina".  And then she FUCKING ATE IT!!!  She describes the taste as, "sour, tangy, almost tingly on your tongue".  I understand that you're a med student which makes you smarter than the average bear but for fuck's sake sweetheart, just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!!!

Uhhhh....

I friggin love side-eye Khloe!

Then I remembered a Youtube video that I watched about some fucking nut job in Australia that shoved a ball of yarn up her twat every day for 28 days and then knit a fucking scarf with it!!! So you know what that means?  That while she had her period she was still knitting with fucking bloody yarn.  She calls it "Casting Off My Womb" and says that it's an "active sensory performance."  Sweet baby Jesus I wish I was joking but I am not.

I watched the video like this:

Horrific

Ok, so here is my opinion about all this nonsense.  Ladies, you are obviously more than welcome to use your vag for whatever purpose you please because it is your body.  If you want to create more than a baby with your vagina, have at it.  If the mood strikes you and you want to whip up some mysterious twat-gurt for breakfast, be my guest.  But there is a REASON that area of your body is called YOU PRIVATES.  Because it's supposed to be FUCKING PRIVATE!!!  Meaning, not shared with the entire world.  "Then don't click on it if you don't want to see it"....right?!  I didn't!  It's all in the fucking headline and/or first three sentences of the article and now I cannot unread what I have read and I now you expect me to go to eat my lunch with these images seared into my brain?!  FUCK. THAT.  Also, I can't help but think that sticking a wooden spoon and a ball of yarn up there is not all that healthy for your cooter.  Especially the yarn chick, who did it every day for a month!!  Well, whatever.  Like I said, do with your cho-cha what you want.  But please at least think twice before deciding to share your vagina-adventures with the world and while you're at it, at least be kind to it...it's the only one you get!!!

And now, a baby kangaroo.  Because I love odd looking critters: