Super-Fun Tour of Blogland!

Why in the hell did I agree to do this?!  

**Warning:  F-Bombs Sprinkled Throughout, Proceed with Caution**

Moi

Anyway, Sandrea from The Precious Princess' Guide to Bananaland needed a volunteer and so here I am...to give you a guided tour of my work space, living space, and some shit that I'm working on.  This wasn't due until tomorrow but I'm done with it so...fuck it.  If you're new here let me give you a quick rundown:

I am from Lakeville, Minnesota, a suburb about thirty minutes south of Minneapolis/St Paul.  I've been at my current job since 2005 and in 2009 I started dating The Boyfriend, who lives in Wisconsin (that's a whole other blog for a different day).  We did the long-distance relationship gig (it's only an hour and a half drive, not terrible) for 4 years (actually I was the one that did all the driving) and then last year I told him that I thought we should live together (aka, I move there because there was no way in hell he was moving to "the cities") and I would keep my job in MN for a year while we cohabited just to make sure that we could live together without killing each other.  The only thing is that during the week I stay with my sister and her family in MN so that I don't have to do the three-hour round trip commute back and forth every day.  Because that would suck ass.  So actually nothing has really changed other than my address and where I keep my shit because I am still pretty much only home on the weekends, which was the only time I was seeing him in the first place.  I feel like a homeless gypsy most days.  Make sense?  Hope so.  I am the oldest of three kids, I have a younger sister and brother who are awesome.  My parents are awesome, my whole extended family is awesome, my friends are awesome.  Nothing like being surrounded by fuckin awesomeness. 

This is my side-kick, Rosie.  Aka Rosa Parks or The Hoochie.  She's 10 years old and no she's not a poodle (poodles are fucking ugly) she's a Bichon Frise.  She's fancy.  She travels back and forth with me, she pretty much goes where I go.  She's a pain in the ass attention-whore but I don't know what I would do without her.

She doesn't do mornings.

The Boyfriend also has two dogs, which I like to also claim as my own, but only when they are behaving.  Which is....never.  Nellie is on the left, she's the almost-retired 9-year old hunting dog.  Winnie is on the right, she's the 9-month old holy terror from the depths of hell (aka, hunting dog in training) who chews up and pees on everything.  They are black labs, obviously.  I really do love them but they're fucking crazy.  I talk a lot about them in the blog/FB page because they're like my kids.  Except I can lock mine in a kennel for 8 hours and nobody is going to call the cops on me.  I dig it.

Don't let our cuteness fool you.

My sister and her husband also have three kids, which I absolutely adore.  Dylan is almost 13 years old, Jack is almost 7, and Noelle will turn 1 in November.  I blabber on and on about them all the time too because they are the best kids...the kind that you can give back.  *wink*  I am very lucky that I get to spend as much time with them as I do, they really are the greatest kids.  And they're pretty darn cute, too.

We Love Auntie!!!

Now on to the fun shit:

My Work space:

Uhhh...I wish I had one.  I'm a traveling gypsy, remember??  My work space is wherever I can find some free Wi-Fi and plop my ass down to type something.  My phone and iPad-mini double as a notebook so when ideas come to me I can record them before they leave my brain forever.  Last year I was also diagnosed with stage 1 thyroid cancer and had my thyroid removed; no biggie except it has left me with ZERO short term memory.  (among a handful of other annoying as hell side effects)  I will ask you what you're doing this weekend and then a few hours later I'll ask you again and I'll probably ask you three or for more times before you want to smack me upside the head.  I've gotten used to writing myself notes and reminders and depending on electronics to help keep my life together.  So I suppose you could say my work space is nowhere and anywhere and every-fuckin-where.

What am I working on?

Honestly?  I'm working on keeping my sanity; trying to find some stability in this crazy world.  I am working on finding a job that is closer to my home in Wisconsin; as much as I love my current living situation and cherish the time I get to spend with my sister and her family, I want to be able to go home to The Boyfriend at the end of the day.  I want to make dinner, talk about our day, watch TV, play with the wretched dogs, and go to bed in the same bed.  Like a normal couple that lives together.  I have a really good job right now and trying to find something similar is proving to be mutherfucking difficult.  And I'm always working on losing weight. Always.  But it always finds a way to stick around, damn it.  I am also trying to keep my flowers at home alive.  It's been a rough summer.

How does my blog differ from those in my genre?

A lot of women my age are set in their careers, are raising their family and generally have their shit together.  They blog about their family life, about raising kids, about their daily struggles.  And I'm over here just trying to make sure my clothes match every day.  I have a college degree but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  If you would have asked me ten years ago what I thought I would be doing at 34 years old, it sure as hell wouldn't have been this.  I would have been married and done having kids by now but I have yet to begin.  I love to read Mommy-blogs but I'm not a mom. (yet!)  I love to read about other people's lives, who may or may not have their shit together, just so that I feel like I'm not the only one out there who would rather gouge my eyes out than go to a stuffy dinner party (you know, boring things that ADULTS who have their shit together do) any day.

Why do I write/create what I do?
If you knew what was constantly going on in this brain of mine you would need to find some sort of release too.  It's like I have ADD and I need an outlet and writing somehow seemed to be a good fit for me.  My life isn't all that interesting and I don't have any special talents or even think that people would care to read my bullshit but...I have to get it out somehow.  I've been told I'm good at it so I'll continue to do it until it gets boring and I find something else better to do I guess!

How does my writing creative process work?
I open a bottle of wine, I drink the wine, I create greatness.
It's as simple as that, really.
I am also obsessed with Alpacas.  Beyond obsessed, actually.  I don't know how or why this came about but I love their little faces so much that at the end of each blog there will always be a picture of an Alpaca.  Next weekend my friend and I are going to go visit Alpaca farms because it's Alpaca Farm Days.  Yes, it's actually A THING!!!  We went last year and it was the best day of my life.



This would be the time where I would introduce you to two more lovely bloggers but nobody wanted to volunteer for all this fun.  So...I've got nothin.  
That's not true, I have this:

Halloween, last year.  That's my kitchen and my stove from 1925.  Kari was Drunk 2, she's taking the picture.  We made those wretched tutu's because the ones they sell at the store that are supposed to be for adults are actually toddler-sized.  Or we're just really fat.  Unfortunately we didn't win any costume contests but THIS year we are bound and determined to win.  We WILL win.  Just wait til you see what we come up with next!  Don't worry, The Puppy chewed up those camo Crocs that I'm wearing in the pic, before you go and poke fun at me.  Fuckin bitch.

HELLO THERE!