houseofwong: The Ten Commandments of the Doctor's Office

I've worked in health care for fifteen (holy shit!) years and after years of dealing with the public and witnessing all there is to witness out among the human race, I have finally put together the Ten Commandments of the Doctor's Office. Lets begin:

Thou shall not leave children unattended in the waiting area.

That's right, we are NOT your babysitters. If you cannot afford a babysitter and must bring your child(ren) with you, please make it clear to your child(ren) that they are to behave appropriately while in the waiting area. This means: no screaming, fighting, hitting, stomping, spitting, shouting, swearing, crying, name-calling, throwing furniture, or eating crayons. Better yet, just find a damn babysitter and leave them at home.

Thou shall not park in handicapped parking spaces if you are not in fact handicapped.

That's right, because it's THE LAW. Also, there are people with legitimate handicaps that need those close parking spots more than your lazy ass with a sprained ankle. See that elderly lady dragging her leg from the back corner of the parking lot because you took the only remaining handicapped spot left? She's going to shank you when she finally gets inside.

Thou shall not steal the magazines from the lobby.

That's right, sharing is caring! I know as well as everyone else that the gossip mags are the ones to disappear first; nobody wants to be forced to read Better Homes and Gardens or the AARP magazine if they don't have to. Which reminds me, I have a grocery bag full of gossip mags at home that I need to bring back.

Thou shall not leave your half eaten food/garbage/dirty diapers in the lobby.

That's right, don't be a lazy twat! Clean up after yourself AND your children! You see that pile of plastic cups from the water cooler that your brat-child stole and is making a pyramid with in the corner? PICK IT THE FUCK UP.

Thou shall arrive to your appointment on time and if you cannot, thou shall call to say you will be late.

That's right, doctor's are allowed to run behind, not you. Everyone knows this, it's an unspoken rule, so please shut your skanky pie-hole and wait just like everyone else. Don't get angry, we have snacks.

Thou shall come to your visit prepared with all necessary documents.

That's right, be prepared! Would you travel abroad without your passport? Would you go out for dinner without your wallet? So why in the SAM HELL would you think that it's okay to come to your doctor's appointment without your proper medical documents? Turn around and go home and start over.

Thou shall not send minor children in by themselves for care.

That's right, you're an idiot. If you send your underage child to the office by themselves, we will send them home with a puppy.

Thou shall hang up one's cell phone while checking in and speaking with reception staff.

That's right, because it's rude as hell! And I recognize your voice anyway, you were the douchelord that was ordering food in the drive-thru when you called in to say that you were going to be late for your appointment! Ma'am, you suck at life.