This Sh*t is Ludicrous

It's that time again, to talk about things that are annoying and absurd!!

Nicki Manaj: or however the hell you spell her skank-ass name.  She has RUINED American Idol for me and I can no longer watch it.  Her voice is annoying, her outfits and her hair are annoying, everything that comes out of her whore mouth is annoying as shit.  This is not the Nicki Show, nobody likes you, Mariah wants to kill you, get out of here.  This whole charade that you have going on here, it's aggravating and obnoxious and look like a walking package of Starburst.  Leave.

Checks:  Not many places take checks these days and I understand why (bad economy makes people write bad checks)  I hate wring checks but I what I hate even more is writing checks to individuals that are going to take their sweet fucking time getting to the bank.  When I write one to you, it's in your best interest to get your tushie to the bank and deposit that shit because the longer you sit on it, the more pissed you make me and I'm more likely to come over to your house and leave flaming presents on your front porch.  Am I for real?!  Yes, I am.  Cash that shit.

Thankless Assholes: People that don't say Thank You are right up there with animal abusers and litter bugs.  You people fucking suck.  The only human beings that have an excuse to NOT say Thank You is if they are under the age of 3 and are still learning how to say Please and Thank You.  Everyone else, you have no fucking excuse, you are just lazy, selfish, greedy jerk-offs and each time you don't say a proper Thank You, I tuck that little piece of information away in my mind for later.  And I also judge you.  I'm the one that says Thank You too much, to everyone, for any reason, no matter what.  What I've come to realize is that I won't remember when you say Thank You every time but I will remember every single time you DON'T say it.  Bottom line: fucking say it, because it's your job as a decent human being!

Next time I do something for someone and they don't say Thank You, I'm just gonna be like:

With some swear words, of course.

Annoying Sales Clerks:  I don't want to be rude but if I want your help, I will ask for it.  If I can't figure something out I will hunt you down and hurl questions at you like you do to me, every single time I step foot into a store that isn't a gas station.  I know that I probably look asexual standing here in the cosmetics store in my camouflage jacket and purse, hair in a pony tail, no make-up on,  but I assure you that I have a vagina and I know how to purchase cosmetics.  And if some Earth-shattering question about mascara comes up and I can't figure it out with my college-educated brain, then I will ask for help.  BUZZ OFF.

She-Mullets:  I've seen an increase of mullets lately, by the ladies, and it's quite disturbing to me.  You know who is allowed to have a mullet? Again, a child under three whose hair is in that awkward stage of growing and it's not their fault.  Party in the back, Murder in the front.  You all look like tools, go get a proper haircut and knock it off.

THIS is the only kind of acceptable mullet.  On a baby. Nowhere else. (hey, is it me or did this kid cut a chunk of hair out of her bangs??  I won't judge...I've done the same)

80's Mullet...it was cool then, not so much now

Emo-hair-girl-mullet...stop it.  Your world isn't going to end if you get a real hairstyle. You're killing us.  Your make-up would make Bozo the Clown proud but I'm just ripping on your hairstyle today.

Asian-mullet...just for the hell of it.

And last but not least...goats.  A goat bit me sometime in my childhood and I'm still not over it.  I don't like goats and I try not to associate with them, especially because I believe they are soul-snatching, black-hearted  little beasts with their rectangle pupils!  They shriek and scream, faint, bite, head-butt, wreck your lawn if you're not careful, they will become coyote snacks. Not that I would care, because I resent the little shit that bit me twenty-five years ago and I think they should all die.  They are pitiful!

This is my favorite: