I Shoulda Been Born a Boy?!

I have a mutherfucking problem being evil-eye-gaze-raped by complete strangers that I don't think that I fit into society's mold of what a woman should or should not be.  I keep becoming more and more aware of it as I keep getting more stares/glares/looked up and down because I wear a camouflaged jacket in the winter/fall, sport a camo purse and camo sweatshirts the rest of the time.  By complete strangers.  They stare. They gawk.  At first I was like, do I have shit on my face or something? Do I have TP hanging out of my butt?!  And like most passive-aggressive Minnesotans, they don't dare say anything but won't thing twice about killing you harshly with their eyeballs.  They think I'm an asexual alien from Venus that doesn't know how to purchase mascara at the damn store when I go there.  "Um...ma'am??? (like they are wondering what else to call me) Do you need help finding anything today?"  Fuck off bitch, it's mascara, not rocket science.  (and like MN NICE taught me, I just politely decline)  You know who I love?  JWoww and her huge tits.   You know what I'm NEVER going to look like? JWoww and her huge damn tits.  I accept it and I move on.

I've even gotten the same treatment from friends.  "What's with you and all the camo? What have you become?  Where's the cleavage and the makeup and the big hair?"  You know what?  Cleavage, makeup and big hair is a fucking pain in my ass that takes 2+ hours to achieve and I'm not 24 anymore and no longer give two shits about it!  Can't I get a new interest and hobby?  Am I forever known as BigTitsWong and if I show up sans makeup you all think I'm ill?!  (Please reference JWoww's massive rack above)   Also, I don't just wear this camo shit for fashion's sake, I actually get my fat ass out into the woods and stalk critters.  And sometimes I kill them. (once)  And now that I have my gun safety permit that's going to be happening a lot more than usual.  I watch and study hunting shows, I'm learning something totally new that's outside of my element and I couldn't love it more.  Plus I have a really awesome teacher.  And my Dad, who is always there to cheer me on while he teaches my bro-in-law and nephew the same things that I'm learning right now.  I am genuinely interested in something that women aren't stereotypically supposed to be interested in and for the longest time I've tolerated the ignorance and chalked it up to "they just don't know what they are missing".  Am I a lesser woman because of it?  Nope.  Can I still cook like my momma and fish like my daddy?  Absolutely.  Once you tell me I can't do something, I will be automatically determined to prove you the fuck wrong.  Obviously I won't be the best sportswoman out there but don't judge me for trying.

Whew...well that's all.  Now I'm going to go to bed and dream about rescuing crows with dislocated knees.  And Alpacas.

When a baby Alpaca falls out of it's mother's vagina the people whose farm they live on quickly grab the baby and put this little jacket on it.  Are there such thing as wild Alpacas? What do THOSE baby 'pacas do when there's not a human around to slap a 'paca coat on them?!  This is what the fuck keeps me awake most nights....